In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) Read online

  Was that the point of all that crazy shit? Bringing us together?

  Fate. Avery had used that word. She felt sure fate had brought us together so she could save me. And she did save me in more than one way.

  I felt drained, like ten days of training drained. I closed my eyes, wanting to rest but afraid of sleeping. What if I didn’t wake up again?

  When I opened my eyes, I saw my phone on the cart next to the bed. Jen had brought it in earlier. I heard that she faithfully posted updates online for me through all this. I reached for it, my hand shaking and then doing a poor job of grabbing onto it.

  Grab it, damn it!

  My hand finally listened to me and I smiled in triumph.

  I wanted to make a video myself and post to my fans. I played around with the angle, trying to get a good shot of my face while showing the least of the damage from the crash. Finally I pushed the record button.

  “Yo! How’s it going? Marcus Fields here. I know. I’ve been out a while, huh? Yeah, hasn’t been fun on this end. I want to send a big shout out to all of you for thinking about me through all this. Thanks for the love and support. Thanks for supporting my family while they had to deal with it, too. I heard about all the messages to my sister Jen and my parents. Wow, my family. They’ve been strong. And my girl, Avery. She pulled me through this. I wanted to say thank you to all of you, and everyone here. I’ll be back out there, promise. Nothing stops Marcus Fields! Peace out, baby.”

  I had to keep it short because my hand started shaking. I watched the video upload and then set the phone down, so tired. Too tired to keep my eyes open any longer.

  Avery… Her name ran through my head as I lost consciousness, her face in front of me.

  I reached for her, expecting her to fade away but she came closer, reaching for me, and I grabbed her and yanked her to me hard. She squealed as I lifted her off the ground, burying my face in her hair and then finding her neck underneath. As I kissed the soft skin there, it hit me that I was standing. Both my arms were working fine.

  I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, making her gasp. I saw her pupils widen as I leaned in, and then I kissed her hard and deep. Her hands came up into my hair and her body arched into mine. She moaned in my mouth and bent a knee between my legs.

  God.

  Holy shit.

  I needed her. Wanted her.

  Then suddenly I knew it was only a dream, although a very real dream, and that realization shook me out of it.

  I was awake again, breathing hard, feeling the damp sheet stick to my wet skin. Luckily the room was empty.

  Patience. Yeah. I’m gonna have to learn that because I want to be 100% again for Avery so we can be together.

  Chapter Four

  Avery

  Well, I lucked out. Tom and Elaina walked the other way and went around a corner instead of talking to us. Jen and I had exchanged a questioning look. I wasn’t sure, but it almost looked like they were arguing.

  She headed off to the bathroom, and I went to the family waiting area and made a cup of coffee, then found a quiet corner and pulled my phone out.

  Huh, the coffee was pretty good.

  Earlier I’d saved some tabs but didn’t get time to watch the videos. Now I clicked on Marcus’s Gold Medal snowboard run and sat back, feeling anxious, excited and nervous like I was watching it live.

  The video started with him at the top of the run, getting ready but not appearing nervous at all. He was actually chewing gum and smiling like he was just having fun snowboarding with friends. Why did that surprise me? I can so imagine him saying, “Dude, why worry? It’ll be epic or it won’t, but it’s awesome being here!”

  He looked down the slope, hutched just a little and launched forward. He flew down the run and up onto the first obstacle. It was way beyond what we had done in my head, especially when he hit a big jump and soared into the air, the blue sky behind him as he twirled, one hand grabbing the board.

  Oh, my god, he was graceful and agile. It was beautiful! Noice, as Marcus would say. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to have that ability and then be stuck in a hospital bed now.

  He was flawless all the way down the course, hitting every jump with a new trick. How could he even go that high and stay in control on the landing? It was freaking amazing. Like, gold medal amazing.

  He slid into the bottom with his hands in the air and a huge smile on his face, still chewing his gum. My heart swelled with pride and love for that amazing man. He stood waiting in front of a purple backdrop as the crowd went wild, waving American flags and cheering. The commentators talked while the camera panned out, and everyone waited for his score to come up.

  The numbers flashed.

  Marcus broke into an even wider grin and pumped a fist in the air. Two other snowboarders jumped on him, slapping his back and grinning with him. I’d noticed that in some of the videos I watched: even though they were competing, they were cheering for each other and having fun. It crossed nationalities even. All the snowboarders that I saw were cheering for each other and hanging out together.

  I couldn’t stop myself. I smiled back at him. He was relaxed and happy, and just a little bit cocky, but so endearing. And that smile!

  “Avery?”

  Jen’s voice made me jerk.

  “Oh, hey, I was just watching Marcus win the gold. Re-watching,” I added, feeling like I got caught doing something bad. I haven’t watched it before, but I should have, at least according to the story we’re using.

  “The doctor said we could go back in.”

  I jumped up and hurried to follow her back. Their parents were huddled and whispering in the hallway about twenty feet from the door but straightened as we approached.

  Tom’s sliding glance made me think he wasn’t too pleased to see Jen and me walking together. Was there any chance in hell he’d warm up to me?

  Jen peeked into the room and turned back to us. “He’s sleeping.”

  Panic shot through me. It must have shot right onto my face because she grabbed my upper arm.

  “He’s just sleeping. He’ll be in and out a lot right now.”

  I nodded, knowing my voice wouldn’t work right. I glanced at his parents, wondering what we were going to do now. So we stood there for a full silent awkward moment before Elaina touched Tom’s arm and he cleared his throat.

  “We should thank you, Avery,” he said. “For…being there for Marcus.” His voice sounded heavy with emotion but his face and body were stiff, so I couldn’t honestly tell if he was sincerely thanking me or his wife put him up to it. If only I could hear what Marcus thought.

  Could I just be reading him wrong?

  “Well… of course.” I wanted to add that I loved him, but that was something I couldn’t say to them. Not now, or like this.

  After another painful pause, Tom said, “He’ll be here a while longer, then rehab.”

  I nodded; that was expected. But why was Tom pointing that out? Because they planned to take him back home to Colorado? That made sense…and scared me.

  I searched for a way to respond when I heard a noise from inside the room. Jen glanced back in. She seemed to be in charge, like a body guard for Marcus. I wonder how she ended up in that role.

  “He’s awake and motioning…” She turned back into the room, then added to us, “Yes, everyone.”

  I followed his family in, hoping that “everyone” meant me too.

  Marcus was pretty groggy, but that gave me a chance to study him. His lashes were so long with his eyes closed. When he’d been in my mind, his hair was longer but his family or the staff cut it at some point, probably due to his head injury. His full lips looked so sexy and kissable. I even liked the blond stubble on his jaw.

  His eyes opened and slowly moved from person to person. He noticed me last and flashed a smile. Everything inside me burst wide open and I gave him a smile back. I wanted to grin my biggest grin but felt shy in case his family members turned my way.

  A rust
le behind me caused me to turn, almost bumping into someone carrying in a food tray. And just like that, the rest of the day turned into a routine of different people checking on Marcus, meals, and rest. There was a lot of talk with different doctors and specialists. I stayed in the background, wanting to hear everything but feeling strange about being with his family. They didn’t really understand how close I felt to Marcus, and how much I cared about him. How could they? His parents wrote me off as crazy before, and I couldn’t blame them for that. So I sat in the corner and listened.

  Jen and Elaina got up to leave and both gave me an encouraging smile on their way out. Maybe Elaina was starting to like me. The staff had cleared out again too, leaving just Marcus, his dad, and me. It was probably around dinner time, or later. Just now I noticed it’d gotten dark outside. It’d been a long day.

  “So, Avery, you’re an English major?” Tom asked suddenly.

  I formed a word but didn’t speak. My pause was long enough to make me feel guilty over nothing, and I caught a look of concern on both of their faces.

  “You should be in class, not here,” Tom said, making it sound more like a crime than a personal choice.

  “Ave? Is there class right now?” Marcus asked, and I could see the gears turning even if I couldn’t hear them anymore. But why was he siding with his dad? I ground my molars before answering, working out some anger.

  “There is,” I said lightly, trying to sound like it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t. Not compared to being here for Marcus. “Well, there’s class but it’s a new term starting.”

  I hadn’t even checked my grades for winter term. Marcus landed in my head in the last month of that term, so my grades might have taken a sharp nosedive.

  “Isn’t it important to be there for the beginning?” Tom asked, and again it wasn’t a question. He was in full lecture mode. It’s been years since I had a parent to give me advice, wanted or not, so I didn’t know how to respond. I was braced for Tom to rant on, but just then I caught Marcus giving him a small shake of his head.

  A long pause fell. I was getting real tired of those. All this awkward conversation and waiting around.

  “Why aren’t you there?” Marcus finally asked me directly. I could read the disappointment and guilt in his eyes.

  “I need to be here. I mean, I want to be here.” I held still while I wanted to shrug. I wasn’t going to apologize or make it seem like I would be anywhere else.

  Marcus had an intense look in his eyes, making them darker.

  “How much class have you missed?” he asked.

  I didn’t want Tom hearing this, especially when I had no idea. Marcus saw me hesitating and gave his dad a tilt of his head and lifted eyebrow.

  “I’ll let you two talk,” Tom said, getting up. “Avery…it’s not really my business, but don’t you think the right choice is to get back to class as soon as possible?”

  I was too shocked at his directness to answer, and he walked out.

  I didn’t owe him an answer. It’s my life. But now he had ammo to force me to leave, which was what he really wanted.

  But how could I leave? There was no way I could concentrate on schoolwork or even sit still in class. I tried to think while opening my mouth, but Marcus beat me to speaking.

  “Will you bring it over here?” he asked, nodding toward something.

  “Your guitar?” I asked. Really? Weren’t we going to talk about college? I couldn’t imagine him just dropping the topic but I didn’t mind putting it off either.

  “Yeah.” He made his bed raise more. I forced my gaze to stay away from his cast as I retrieved his guitar.

  “Sit here.” He patted the bed as he scooted up, positioning himself so I could sit between his legs. Nestling up to him sent a warm shiver up my back. This still felt so new and different. We’re really both here, real, touchable.

  He had to move around more so his cast wasn’t in the way, and then his chest was mostly touching my back, sending jolts of pleasure up and down my body. I expected to feel awkward holding the guitar, but it felt almost natural after all the times I had played with him. Or rather, he played using my hands.

  His hand brushed my cheek and then pulled my hair back to sweep it over the other shoulder. Then his breath caressed my neck.

  My eyes closed. It was pain and pleasure and want all rolled together—and I was freefalling in all of it. This was so immense, so consuming. A second passed and his lips pressed into my neck.

  I gasped so loud we both jumped.

  Marcus chuckled by my ear, activating every nerve in my body.

  More. I wanted more of him, more of his breath and mouth on my skin, his lips on my lips, his hands on me.

  “Remember how to strum?” he whispered.

  If I could clear my head, I might remember… I nodded, a small movement so I wouldn’t bump into him.

  “Slow and steady at first. Let’s see if this works.”

  I began to strum. Nothing fancy, just moving my thumb up and down. Marcus used his left hand to tune the guitar by twisting the knobs at the top. His hand looked unsteady and didn’t grasp the little tuners quite right, but he worked at it until the chord sounded perfect. I patiently moved my hand, letting the strings sing into the room. The sound soothed me, reminded me of time we spent together already, reminded me of a world that Marcus took me into.

  He put his hand to the stem. Sitting like we were, I couldn’t see his expression, but the way he moved his hand moved made me think it was difficult for him. I kept strumming but the chords sounded off.

  I gritted my teeth instead of flinching or turning my head. If it took all day, I’d sit here and help him. Finally, he did it. He got his hand to obey him and hold down the correct strings. The sound changed as I strummed, and we played chords that didn’t add up to a song, just soft music.

  I had to concentrate too but my body was acutely aware of his so close behind me. When he breathed, his body touched mine. His heat warmed me. I closed my eyes, hearing the chords and feeling Marcus, wishing I could pause time for a day.

  I tried to absorb the sounds of the strings and the feel of Marcus so close to me, but he couldn’t play for long. I could tell he was tiring, and then he dropped his hand with a sigh.

  “Babe,” he said softly. His tone made my stomach tighten.

  “Hmm?” I turned my face toward him. My cheek was almost against his jawbone, his mouth so close.

  “First, I’m really sorry that my parents are so skeptical. They could at least try to hide it.”

  I waited for him to say more, that maybe he agreed with them. Please don’t. Please don’t say you’ve lost faith in what we shared. Thankfully he didn’t say that.

  “I know they have your best interests in mind, even before when they were…” I didn’t finish.

  “Well, I’m sorry about my dad and what he said.”

  “Thanks. I know it’s them and not you. Don’t feel bad when it’s not your fault. I mean, when I think about my dad—” Why did I say that? I really don’t need to deal with anything else today, so I quickly added, “I can’t talk about him right now.”

  “I know.” His words were so soft and understanding that I wanted to cry. He didn’t even add anything about saving it for later. “But, on another important topic… You should finish the year, Ave,” Marcus said in a kind tone. “It’s one term, right? Just three months till summer break. I don’t want to pull you away from your life. You want to be a writer. You had plans. Have plans.”

  “I don’t need college for that.”

  After a few seconds of silence, I twisted enough to see him.

  He raised his eyebrows, his light brown eyes dancing with some secret, it seemed. “Remember your promise?”

  “What?! That was before…”

  Did he really expect me to keep a promise I made when I thought he was going to die?

  “You promised me you’d go after your dreams. That means going back to school.” His stern look did weird things to
me, things that made it hard to be upset right now. I wanted to smile and smack him, and maybe even kiss him, all at the same time.

  “That was before you woke up,” I reminded him again, my voice stronger. “That was when I thought I had to go on without you.”

  “Your life is still your life, and you made a promise.” His lips curved in the slightest smile.

  Was that a sad smile, like he was saying a real goodbye? Maybe he had decided to listen to his dad.

  “Marcus, I don’t understand. After all we’ve been through, I can’t leave you.”

  His eyes searched mine as his head tilted in confusion. He started to form the word “what” but changed it.

  “Oh. Avery, baby, I’m not saying leave, leave. I’m saying you need to go back to your life and get things back on track.”

  Cool relief trickled through me, but I still wasn’t sure. Maybe he was breaking up with me, but in such a nice way I couldn’t tell. I stared at his chest until his fingers touched my chin.

  “Babe, look at me.”

  “I put everything on the line to help you—to save you!” I fought the tears pricking my eyes. I’d gotten too emotional over all of this.

  “I know. You’ve been my princess in shining armor. But, listen, I can’t let you flunk out of school or lose all your friends. I blew through your life like some kind of tornado, and I can’t live with myself if you lose everything.”

  “I don’t want to lose you!” The tears won and plopped onto my cheeks.

  Marcus leaned close to rest his forehead against mine.

  “I love you, Avery, and I won’t go anywhere. I promise. I’m here for you.”

  I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to think past this moment here with him. My life back in Ashland was a mess.

  “I don’t know where to start picking up the pieces,” I admitted, pitifully, and watched his face fall. He pulled on the neck of the guitar and maneuvered it to the bottom of the bed.

  “I’ll help you, babe. We’ll fix everything, starting with your life, okay?” He squeezed my hand. “Okay?”

  “Okay…tomorrow. Then I can figure out what to do about all of that.”