In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) Read online

  “Tomorrow. And you promise, right?”

  “I promise,” I said, the word an echo of the promise I made before, when we thought we were out of time, and I promised to follow my dreams. It’s almost the same promise as before, but this time around it means walking out of this hospital and leaving Marcus here.

  He searched my eyes and ran the back of his fingers down my face. “You’ve been my fixer girl, remember? Now I want to help you fix your life.” His expression darkened for a second, and when I noticed, he shook his head. “I wish I could get out of here and help you, but when I can, I will.”

  “Marcus.” I shook my head, the words I needed just out of reach. So I took his hand and rested his palm against my face while we gazed at each other. He had such warm amber eyes.

  “You’ll stay tonight with me?” he asked.

  “Of course I will.” I grinned suddenly. “You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”

  His smile came back too, and he said, “Wasn’t planning on it, Tiger Lily.” He tugged my hand, wanting me closer.

  Chapter Five

  Marcus

  I came out of a dream slowly, aware I was waking up but still trying to stay in the dream. I smelled new snow and heard Avery’s laugh. Soft lift filtered down from an overcast sky. For a few seconds, it felt so real, like when we were in her head and somehow out on the slopes at the same time.

  Then the images and smells faded away.

  My body hurt all over. It felt better to be asleep but I didn’t want that right now. It had to be the middle of the night but I felt more restless than ever. The room was dark and quiet except for Avery’s soft breathing. She was sleeping in the cot, curled up like always when she sleeps. I was glad I didn’t have to sleep in tiny little ball like that anymore, but I do miss knowing her thoughts.

  Was she happy? Was she okay?

  Now it almost seemed like I had wrecked her life, and maybe she wasn’t happy to be here anymore. If this was true love and all, why did it seem to be hurting her? Feeling this uncertain sucked, and I wasn’t used to it. I worked hard all of my life. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t have to question myself or my abilities.

  Ave made a noise and I looked over. Lights from outside shone in through the window. I took a minute to stare at her—her halo of wild hair around that pale face. My new pastime is studying her from this perspective…seeing her intense eyes and that mouth I want to kiss. Her face is so perfect.

  “Are you awake?” she whispered.

  “Yeah, come here.”

  She came over and slid up on the bed, and I rolled on my good side to spoon her. God, it felt nice. I hadn’t gotten to hold her like this yet, not in the real world anyway.

  “I had this awesome dream,” I said, my voice low and sleepy. “I think we were out on some fresh pow together, but I can’t remember all of it. You were laughing. There’s not much more than that, but it felt so real for just a minute.”

  “Sounds nice. I wish we could.”

  “We will! And sooner than you think.”

  I wanted to slide my arm around her but could only move the cast and sling so far. Maybe it was a good thing I couldn’t run my hand up and down her body or up her front. Damn, just imagining that did something crazy to me. Actually, just lying here like this, our bodies touching, made me ache for her.

  “Are you okay with this?” I asked her, wondering if she could feel how excited I was.

  “Oh, yeah.” Her voice held a naughty smile as her backside subtly gyrated against my crotch. I chuckled. Oh yeah, she knew. And she didn’t seem to mind too much. I could only imagine how crazy we’d go if I weren’t so weak and we weren’t here. Hell, even here I might want to rip her clothes off and put this hospital bed to good use. But at the present moment, I’m just happy that my body responded the way it should.

  Too bad I couldn’t watch the images in her mind right now. Was she fantasizing about me? Or worried? I couldn’t be strong and be the man she probably wants and needs.

  “Are you okay with me right now?” I asked.

  “Huh?” She twisted her head my way. I couldn’t see her face though. “Of course I’m okay with you.”

  “I’m not the same.”

  “Of course you are!” She reached back to run her hand over me. At her touch, I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with so many emotions I couldn’t sort them into words. “Well, I mean now you have a body to go with that sexy voice.”

  She is a funny one.

  “Ave, this recovery is going to take a while. I’m…not quite me.”

  “Marcus.” She scoffed. “You didn’t even have a body when I fell for you! I fell in love with your wit and charm and honesty.”

  “Well, I’m being honest right now,” I said lightly, a laugh in my voice. “I’m used to hearing your thoughts, and having you know what’s going on in my head. This way, I feel more vulnerable. I’m so weak and I don’t know what you think and feel about it.” It felt good to get the words out. I pulled her closer and felt her back press into me, the length of her body against mine.

  “You can just ask. You’re smart, funny, sexy. What more could I want? And you are strong. You’ll see.”

  I breathed in her scent, so glad she was here.

  “I want you. Need you,” I said. “And when I’m on my feet again, I’m going to have you.”

  I heard a quick intake of breath.

  “Sit up,” I said, knowing it surprised her. I rolled on my back and had her move around to my other side. I tangled my good hand in her hair and gently pulled her down so I could kiss her, then I turned her body so she was lying back with me. “I’m going to find a way to touch you.”

  Her breathing really picked up, and that was before I ran my hand down her hip and thigh. It took effort, but I moved slowly up her body and under her shirt, over her bra to cup her. I wanted to explore and map every inch of her body: her breasts, her stomach, her belly button… the top of her pants. We both started shaking with need as I undid her jeans with one hand. It seemed like I’d gotten stronger and more able already.

  I slid my hand down enough to touch her through her panties, making her arch up. When I moved my hand faster, she covered it with hers, wanting more.

  “I wanted to touch you so bad before…” I spoke low and quiet by her ear. Her body pushed back into mine, her hand gripping mine harder while I touched her.

  “Oh, god, Marcus!”

  She came with a cry and immediately covered her face with both hands.

  “Baby, it’s okay.” I kissed her cheek. “It’s fine. No one’s out there. It’s just us. Babe, let me hold you.”

  She rolled to curl into me and wrapped her hand over my arm. I wanted her so bad it felt like it could kill me, but I didn’t want to go there in this condition. I’d get strong again first. For now, I’d be happy making her happy. And holding her. I wanted to keep her in my arms forever.

  ***

  Someone cleared their throat, waking me up. Two nurses were busy by the bed. When my vision cleared I could see them sharing a look and trying not to giggle.

  Did I have a giant morning woody? Then I felt Avery move against me. I flashed a big smile at the nurses and held up a finger. The taller one motioned for the other to follow her out of the room.

  Knowing Ave, she’d get all embarrassed if she woke up with them in here. I watched her sleep for a few minutes before I could bring myself her wake her up. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. If only she could rest all day and not worry about anything.

  “Babe?” I ran my knuckles down her face and snuck in a quick kiss on her mouth. She smiled and stretched.

  “Morning already?”

  “It’s a good morning with you here.” I kissed down her jaw and onto her neck, talking between kisses. “Your body is so sexy …so…so…so…sexy.”

  She laughed and caught her breath all at once, her hand covering mine as I felt my way around again.

  Voices interrupted us from the hallway and she sprang
off the bed. I tried to hold in my laughter as she straightened her clothes. Yup, it was a good call to have those nurses leave.

  Avery gave me a mock glare right before the nurses came back in, followed by my parents.

  “Good morning, honey,” my mom said rather brightly.

  Behind her, Ave gave me a little wave and mouthed, “I’ll come back later,” before she grabbed her jacket and headed out. I stared after her even when I couldn’t see her, clear until my dad cleared his throat.

  Man, this recovery thing is going to suck.

  Chapter Six

  Avery

  I walked around the hospital to stretch my legs and clear my head, but it reminded me too much of being here before, when they wanted to pull the plug on Marcus.

  I took the elevator down, and when the doors opened, I smelled the cafeteria. My stomach growled so I went for a sandwich and a drink before walking some more. I rounded a corner and spotted a sitting area at the end of the hallway. Retro orange and green loveseats sat around a short coffee table, all looking out the windows.

  I couldn’t sit down though. I still needed to update my friends. Or friend, I should say. Jazz might be the only one who’ll talk to me, and I’m not even sure about that. I tried to remember if we talked after she called the hospital and warned them that I was off my rocker. No, I don’t think we did.

  Huffing out a nervous breath, I called Jazz.

  “Ave?” She almost shouted my name, startling me. She couldn’t be angry anymore, could she?

  “Jazz, hey, how’s it going?” I start off easy.

  “Where are you? You’re not still in Portland, are you?” She sounded concerned, like she’d been tearing herself up over this. I felt bad for not calling sooner.

  “Yeah, I’m here with Marcus and his family. He woke up, Jazz. He’s okay. Things are okay now.”

  A beat.

  “Wait? What? How? Ave, this doesn’t make any sense.” She sounded shocked, which meant she didn’t believe me before.

  “Well, he woke up and told them it was okay.”

  “How again?”

  How do I explain something that doesn’t make sense to me? I switched tactics and told her about Tom, Elaina and Jen, and the physical therapy Marcus will need to do.

  “So,” she interrupted. “I have a question. I’m just curious… You know, if you’ve had any weird dreams with all of this?”

  Weird dreams? I thought back but nothing came to mind. I told her as much. “Why do you ask?”

  “I… I don’t know. I’m just always curious. You know that.”

  “That’s true,” I said, but it was out of character for Jazz to sound unsure about something. “Are you doing okay?”

  “Yeah, fine. I mean, we have things to figure out, but don’t worry about anything while you’re up there.”

  She clearly didn’t want to explain what was on her mind… I wasn’t sure what to make of it, so I let it go for now and asked, “We’re still friends, right?”

  “Always.”

  Warmth flooded my heart, a real physical sensation of heat bursting into my chest. It took me a minute to find my voice.

  “I’m coming back for class,” I said, forcing myself to put the words out there. That made it more real, even though I didn’t feel like I was completely committed to it yet.

  “When?”

  “Uhh, I’m not sure,” I admitted, hearing the sadness in my voice. A pause followed.

  “Avery, it’ll have to be soon if you want any chance of catching up. You could fail this term otherwise.”

  “I know.” I closed my eyes tightly, wanting to hide from this but knowing I couldn’t.

  “I’m here to help. I can get a few things started for you. I have some notes, but you’ve missed a lot…”

  Jazz, my practical friend. I love her for that.

  “Thanks. I’ll start with that. I better go, but I wanted to let you know.”

  “See you soon?” She didn’t sound sure.

  “I’ll keep you updated.”

  “Bye,” we said at the same time. I should have told her I was there for her too, in case she needed anything. Why did I have a lingering feeling there was more to her question about dreams?

  Marcus had a dream last night—I vaguely remembered him telling me something about it when I climbed into bed with him. That didn’t have anything to do with me really or Jazz though.

  I headed back to his room feeling heavy. I have so much to do back in Ashland. When I reached his door, his parents and Jen walked out. Jen gave me an encouraging smile, and I got the feeling they’d all been talking about me.

  “How’s he doing?” I asked her.

  “Good,” she said but not too convincingly. She patted my arm as she left with her parents. “Cheer him up for us!” she called back over her shoulder.

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Jen glanced back and it hit me, she really does expect me to cheer him up. That’s either a lot of pressure or a show of trust. Maybe both.

  I stepped inside in time to see Marcus staring out the window, a faraway look on his face. The covers were pulled up over his waist. I’d hate to wear one of those hospital gowns for days on end; Marcus must too. Thankfully the bruises were getting lighter with each day.

  He turned toward me but his eyes weren’t focused for a few seconds; he was completely lost in another world of thought. After another few seconds, his gaze swept over my face and his attention returned.

  “Babe, just the person I wanted to see.”

  I smiled as I sat on his bed and he pulled me into him. We held each other for a long moment while I listened to his steady heartbeat.

  “I can’t keep you anymore,” he said, stroking my hair. “Ave, you’ve got to get going. It’s a long drive back.”

  I ducked my face and nodded. “I called Jazz and said I’m going back to class,” I told him. I know he’s right, but I don’t like it at all. I can’t argue either because he feels bad for screwing up my life as it is.

  His finger nudged my chin.

  “We can have weekends and stuff, right?” he asked.

  “Yeah, we can…” Reality started setting in. “I just don’t know how often I can drive back and forth, and it’ll be so hard being that far away from you.”

  “It’s too much driving?” he asked, confused.

  I shrugged. “It’s a lot of gas money and my car isn’t the most dependable.” A flash of memory came, of when it broke down and I had to call Nash for help.

  “Ave, don’t worry about that, okay?” He flattened his hand on the side of my face, holding me gently so I wouldn’t look away. “I’ll cover your gas. We’ll figure it out if the car needs work. It’ll be okay.”

  At his words, tears popped up in my eyes and started running down my face, surprising me. Marcus has been right about so many things. I wanted to believe him now. It’d just been so long since I heard those words from anyone.

  He reached to me again, wiping my tears away.

  He pulled on my shirt and I slid my body completely onto the bed beside him, facing him with my face pressed to his chest. I felt his breath on my forehead as it slowed down, and I closed my eyes, falling asleep with him.

  ***

  The sound of low voices washed over me for a while before I realized they didn’t sound happy. I woke up but kept my eyes shut, listening to Tom and Marcus.

  “She should be in class.”

  “She’s going home today.”

  “But why did she wait? She should have left yesterday so she could attend today.”

  “Dad!” Marcus broke off and the room went silent. The light was on, and I wondered if they could see my face. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Marcus. He was sitting in a chair facing the bed, and I was lying in the bed still. Tom must have been standing behind me. Footsteps sounded as he left.

  Marcus sighed and ran a hand over his head. His gaze landed on me and he said, “Don’t worry about him.”

  “You keep say
ing that, but I think I should be.”

  “He worries about people because he cares.”

  I tried to keep a blank expression. It doesn’t seem possible that Tom was worried about me for my own sake. I leaned up to look at Marcus and beckon him to come back to bed.

  “Help me?”

  “Oh, of course!” I jumped up and helped him slide back up. The nurses must have come in and helped him get up this morning. I glanced at the window and realized it was later than I thought.

  He laughed softly. “I know you must be exhausted, so I tried to let you sleep.”

  “And your family thinks I kicked you out of your bed.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said, and his mouth curved up in a sly smile. For a minute, I couldn’t move, not with the way he watched me. Funny that he can make me blush still. I waved a hand toward the bathroom before disappearing inside.

  Was I ready for this? I had to leave him here. Every fiber in my body screamed at the idea. I’ve fought so hard for him, and now… now I just go back to my old life?

  When I came out, he motioned for me lay beside him. We held onto each other in silence until he reached over to the stand by his bed for his phone.

  “Isn’t it funny that we don’t have each other’s numbers yet?”

  I laughed. “That is a bit unusual.” We exchanged numbers, and then he handed me a wad of money.

  “What’s this?” I asked, staring at it. He shook it and I reluctantly took it.

  “I don’t want you worrying about gas money, okay?”

  I nodded. This was starting to feel more and more like a big goodbye, like it’d be a long time before I saw him again. Marcus saw my expression turn sad and opened his mouth to say something.

  I spoke first.

  “It just feels… it feels like I’m losing you again, and now I can’t hear what you’re thinking anymore. We’ll just be a part.”

  “Ave, baby, look at me,” he said and pulled my chin toward him. “We’re connected. Fate decided that. We have something special where we got to know each other from the inside out. Even if we can’t hear each other’s thoughts anymore, even if we’re a part, you’re always on my mind.” He touched his chest, over his heart. “You’re always right here,” he said, his voice choked with emotion.