All In My Head (First Tracks Book 1) Page 22

  I sat up, rubbing my face and grabbing around in the sand for my phone. Marcus? I looked around me, behind me, everywhere, like I’d see him here. “Marcus? Marcus!”

  Silence in my head.

  I’d fallen asleep. I let him slip away.

  Marcus.

  My phone went silent. Several seconds ticked by. My stomach tightened into a ball and I bent over, expecting to throw up.

  The phone buzzed again. I could hardly see through my tears but it looked like it said Jen.

  “Hello?”

  “Avery, Marcus started breathing on his own! He’s alive! He opened his eyes!”

  I stood up fast and fell over. On my back again, I asked, “He’s awake?”

  “No … not awake right now. Not yet. But he opened his eyes. He looked right at me. I saw my brother, not some vegetable. It wasn’t a blank look. I’m sure he recognized me.”

  “Do you think …?”

  “He has to wake up now. He has to.” She kept talking and my mind wouldn’t follow everything, not until I heard, “… then he can tell Dad about you. They can’t keep you away—”

  “Wait, slow down. Give me a sec.” If he wasn’t in my head, he had to be back in his body. And he was breathing. “Actually, I gotta go. I’m coming back.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Marcus

  I felt like a mummy, dried out, stiff, sore … I tried moving, and when I couldn’t, started to freak out. My eyes wouldn’t open. I kept trying, making them smart and water. Finally. Finally, I got them open.

  Blue light flooded in, then shapes. There was a soft overhead light and then sunlight coming from the corner—a shaded window. Things around me in a room. There were blankets over me … it was a hospital room. What the hell?

  Machines beeped. Voices drifted in as people walked by outside, but I couldn’t see the door leading to the hallway. A curtain blocked the way.

  Someone sat next to the bed. She had wild, long hair in a pretty honey color. It was wavy, curly at the end. She turned toward me a little so she could wipe a tear running down her face. An angular face. Like a runway model, beautiful in an unusual way, covered in light freckles. Captivating. I stared at her beauty for several minutes before I wondered who she was and why she was crying by my bed. She wasn’t dressed like a nurse.

  The wild look of her hair made me think she was a snowboarder. I could so see her out on the slopes with a beanie to keep that hair back. Or even surfer. Yeah, it was like beach hair. I’d been hanging in Hawaii a lot the last couple of years, during the off season. But, I didn’t know her.

  She wouldn’t look at my face. Instead she looked down at my hand and moved hers closer.

  “Where are you?” she whispered. “Marcus, I need to talk to you. Say something.”

  Did my hands work? Was I paralyzed? There was only one way to find out so I moved my hand against hers.

  The woman jumped and her eyes flew up to my face. Gasping, she covered her mouth with both hands and new tears sprang to her eyes. “Marcus!”

  She reached to grab my face with both of her hands.

  “Where am I?” My voice barely made it out, too scratchy to sound like me.

  “The hospital. It’s okay now. It’s okay.” She smoothed my hair back and started to lean over. She knew me. I think.

  “Who are you?”

  She froze, confused and hurt. Then a look of terror filled her eyes and she jumped back. Her skin went white behind her freckles. “No. No!”

  “No, what? Can you tell me what’s going on?” It hurt to talk.

  A rustle at the curtain caught my attention. Jen stood there, her mouth open for a second before she squealed and ran to the bed. “You’re awake! Oh my god! You’re awake! Ave, call a nurse. Get my parents!” She kissed all over my face until I couldn’t breathe.

  “Jen! Jen, stop. You’re killing me.”

  She broke into laughter so loud and sharp it hurt my ears. I glanced at the other woman as she backed away. I wanted to reach a hand out and stop her, to take that wounded look off her face, but I didn’t know what to say to her. She bent slightly at the waist as if she were literally sick.

  Jen glanced back at her to ask, “Did he say anything else?”

  She opened her mouth, shut it, then shook her head. “I …”

  Jen turned back to me, looking troubled. Something was wrong but I couldn’t process all of this.

  “I’ll call a nurse,” Jen said as she pushed the button. “I think Mom and Dad are on their way here. I’m calling them too.” Her smile came back then. I looked past her, then regretted it. The look in that girl’s eyes. It was like I killed her.

  Jen moved between us, slowly walking toward the door, and mouthed to me, “I’ll be right outside. Just a sec—Mom?” She hurried out then, talking rapidly as she walked down the hall. Her voice faded away too quickly for me to catch any of the conversation.

  “Who are you?” I asked, quietly. It was coming together now. Jen was talking to my parents about her.

  “I’m Avery. You don’t remember talking to me?”

  “I don’t remember you at all. Why are you here?” My voice sounded colder than I meant. She was hurting. I could see that. But there had been a couple fanatical girls posting on my Facebook page and trying to contact me. Somehow this one had made it all the way here and convinced my family she knew me.

  “You don’t remember waking up in my head?” Her voice shook.

  Christ. She was nuts. And alone with me. I glanced at the door, hoping to see Jen watching or a nurse creeping in. No one.

  The woman wrapped her arms across herself instead of wiping the tears running down her face. “Don’t you remember the high heel boots? The shower? Drawing me?”

  I wanted to scream, “You’re a stalker!” But I didn’t want to anger her while I was so weak. I felt like I could hardly move.

  Two nurses hurried in, talking. I caught that a doctor was on the way. Jen rushed back in and came over to grab my hand. I felt something on my cheek and then realized I was crying.

  The strange woman—Avery—stepped around a nurse. “Don’t you remember running on the beach with the full moon? How everything looked silver?”

  I didn’t know what to tell her, but my expression must have said it all. She crumbled, wilting in on herself. Jen looked between her and me, and her face went white.

  Everything started happening. Questions. Prods. The doctor. I realized that woman left. The words came too fast and I couldn’t keep it all straight, but then Mom and Dad stepped in behind the doctor.

  “Let me hold my baby!” My mom was wailing already. I didn’t care. They both engulfed me. Jen too. They were acting like I’d almost died.

  “Okay, okay. Let me breathe.” I ran my hands down my face and looked at them. I still had no idea why I was here. The last thing I remember … it was all a blur. I do remember leaving Sochi. My flight home. We landed safely, I’m sure of it.

  “What happened to me?” I reached to touch my head. “It wasn’t a dream, was it? All of it?”

  “What do you mean?” My dad rested his hand on top of mine. We’d never been a touchy-feely family, before this. I hadn’t seen him cry before either.

  “The Olympics. I remember the halfpipe … my medal.”

  “Yes, you won gold!” My mom grabbed my other arm with both hands. She glanced at Dad quickly while trying to hide it from me.

  “What happened? I was fine … and now I’m here.”

  “You were in a car accident three weeks later. Your seatbelt saved your life but you got a concussion.”

  “Dad, it wasn’t just a concussion,” Jen said. “You had a traumatic brain injury.” Mom and Dad both started talking.

  “Wait,” I said, a hand up. I needed quiet for a minute. A concussion. Something about that … I remembered talking to someone about a concussion.

  I hit my head? What are you talking about? No, I hit my head trying to freaking snowboard.

  That voice�
�her voice.

  My parents and Jen watched me and all shared a look. Then Jen whispered, “It’ll be okay, Marc.”

  “No, no, it’s not that.” I grasped at the fleeting pictures … her words … it didn’t make any sense, but it seemed like I remembered snowboarding with her, helping her, like I was right there beside her. Even closer than that, though. We got fresh tracks. It was bright and sunny.

  Suddenly I was looking up at some dude. Nash. I knew him. He was … he was going to kiss Avery and I could see and feel and … I was there. In her head.

  We played guitar together with her hands. Drew pictures. We were in the bath together, surrounded by bubbles.

  “He’s remembering something,” Jen said, laughing.

  “That girl. Avery. I remember her. Where is she?”

  “Oh, no,” Mom said on a breath. Jen spoke at the same time so I didn’t understand her, but Mom and Dad turned to her.

  “I can call her,” she repeated, grabbing her phone. A few very long beats later, she handed me the phone.

  It was still ringing. Then it clicked on and Ave’s voice came on, hysterical. “Jen? I didn’t imagine all that. I didn’t. I didn’t! I couldn’t have. How did I know all that?”

  “Slow down, babe. It’s me. Really me this time.”

  “Marcus?”

  “Ave, I love you. Come home to me.”

  Epilogue

  (Preview –In My Dreams)

  I look like a maniac and I don’t care.

  I ran down the hospital hallway, dodging people without apologizing, tears running down my face and a guitar bouncing against my back. My hair was having a fantastically frizzy day due to the weather, or maybe my crazy life, and I felt it whipping around behind me. I tore around a corner, my shoes sliding before grabbing on.

  I had to get to him right now.

  He remembers me.

  It’s okay.

  Everything’s okay now.

  If Marcus remembered me, then I wasn’t schizophrenic and making all this up. He had been in my head, sharing my life, listening to every thought. People would believe me now. He could tell his parents, his sister, my friends—everyone who thought I’d lost it.

  It didn’t make any sense, but it was true. It was true!

  The room numbers were climbing and I skidded to a stop, sliding past the door. Grabbing the door jamb, I pulled myself back and threw myself through the doorway.

  “Marcus!”

  Four people stared at me, stopping me in my tracks. This wasn’t the rush-in-and-kiss him I’d imagined. His parents stood by the door and Jen stood next to the bed where Marcus laid. Tom and Elaina still looked skeptical. They’d tossed me out as a crazy stalker before, and now they glanced at each other, not sure what to think. Tom narrowed his eyes through his super thick lenses. They were still worried I’d hurt their son. His sister Jen started to smile at me but the tension in the room stopped her cold too.

  I finally looked at Marcus. He had his bed raised like he was waiting for me.

  “Avery. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I—” He broke off and a smile flashed across his face. “You brought my guitar.”

  “Yeah… how many times have you yelled at me to grab it?” I tried for a laugh at my lame joke and set it on a hospital chair. What could I say to him in front of his family? Nervous, I stepped past his parents and rushed to the bed, avoiding their gazes.

  “We’ll wait outside for a bit,” Jen said, her voice cautious. And then, thankfully, she herded her parents out of the room. They were quiet until they stepped out, and then their voices mingled together and faded. At least they weren’t standing right outside the door.

  “Marcus,” I whispered, my voice breaking as fresh tears filled my eyes. I took a step closer to the bed but something held me back. Did he still like me, now that he could see me face to face? Maybe I wouldn’t live up to the fantasy. Maybe he just needed me before, but not anymore, not when he had his life and body back. I glanced down at myself because I couldn’t even remember what I was wearing.

  What did he think? I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t hear him.

  “Ave?”

  That prodded me into motion and I walked to the edge of the bed. He reached out to me. I took his hand, feeling his warmth in a new way. He turned his hand to entwine our fingers, then looked down, confused. I watched his expression and our hands, wondering if he felt weak after being in the coma.

  “Marcus.” It felt so good to say his name and see him here with me like this. I’d seen him in my mind’s eye, and in pictures online, and even here sleeping in this bed, but this was different. His warm hazel eyes searched mine, mirroring my emotions, I think. Amazement. Surprise that we made it here. Fear.

  “It was all real?” he asked, still staring at me, and lifting his other hand to caress my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, taking a big, shaky breath.

  “It had to be. There’s no other explanation.”

  “Come here.”

  I leaned down and slid my arms around him. We came together slowly, like we were both unsure of this new reality. What was he thinking? But once I felt him this close and smelled his scent under the hospital smells, my breath quickened until I started crying and clinging to him. His fingers sank into my hair and he kissed my head, saying my name. When I lifted my face, he smiled.

  Oh, my god, is he handsome. And real. And right here.

  We paused, looking at each other, grins coming at last. Then his face went serious, something new in his eyes. He touched my chin and we stretched toward each other, our lips meeting softly.

  A shock wave rolled down my body.

  His lips, so full, so soft…so wanting.

  His breath smelled of mint. I smiled as his lips moved on mine. I’d somehow gotten halfway up on the bed to kiss him back, my hands gently exploring him. His hands shook against my head—from desire or his injuries?

  How fragile was he?

  Would this hurt him?

  A noise rose up his throat. Energy zinged through my veins. With my eyes closed, my body felt like it was floating. He hung onto me tight, his tongue suddenly teasing my lips, before he pulled me further back with him. At the contact, my body came to life, surprising me. We’d been so close but unable to touch before, not really touch. I pulled back, opening my eyes and finding his staring back, warm and dancing.

  “Avery.”

  My lips tingled. All of me tingled. I heard my ragged breathing and laughed. “Marcus.”

  Suddenly, he pulled me forward, pressing another kiss onto my mouth. Then he pulled me back and looked at me, staring, taking me in, detail by detail.

  “Damn, you are beautiful,” he whispered. “And you look even better from this perspective… I love you, Avery.”

  I started to reply and couldn’t find my voice. His eyes grew shiny.

  I pulled in a quick breath, still so amazed in be in this moment. “I love you.”

  Our smiles grew together until we started laughing.

  “Everything’s different now,” I said, my voice breaking.

  “Better.” His smile faded. “Right?”

  “Right.” I looked back toward the door. What would his family think? What would we tell them?

  His hand came up to my face. “Ave, we’ll figure it out.”

  I lay my head on his chest, breathing in his scent. I could feel him, smell him, kiss him!

  “We’ll figure everything out.” His voice came softly as his fingers threaded through my hair. “I love you and we’re together. That’s what matters now.”

  Closing my eyes, I decided to worry about everything else later. He was right. Only this mattered now. We were together, really together.

  The End

  ~ ~ ~

  Pre-order the sequel, In My Dreams, releasing April 29th, 2016.

  Thank you for reading!

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  Acknowledgements

  Many thanks to the teachers of the weeklong Breakout Novel Intensive Workshop: Lorin Oberweger for directing and organizing the workshop along with manuscript feedback, Donald Maass for the invaluable classes and insightful help on this book, Roman White, Brenda Windberg, and Jason Sitzes. Each instructor saw something different that I could improve, strengthen or add. The entire group of instructors and writers were so encouraging! I’d also like to thank Gabriele Ewerts for beta reading.

  And of course, with every project, I’m grateful for the support of my family. Thanks to Ashley for reading my stories and being so excited about them.

  About T

  he Author

  Kristen James lives in Oregon, USA, and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, street cycling, camping, traveling, reading, and spending time with her family. She’s also a bestselling author of love stories, mostly set in the Pacific Northwest. Kristen discovered her love of writing in the fourth grade when her class wrote short stories, and she’s been writing ever since.

  http://www.writerkristenjames.com

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  Also by Kristen James:

  More Than Memories, Book 1

  A Wedding to Remember, Book 2

  Embers of Hope, Book 1

  More Than a Promise, Book 2

  Stranger in my Bed

  Costa Rica

  In A Field of Oranges

  Point Hope

  A Cowboy For Christmas

  Amazon Author Page & Books