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  She stepped closer and jabbed a finger into his chest. “You lied! We made a deal while you were screwing around behind my back! ”

  “No, I wasn’t!” He flung his arms out in frustration and walked the other way, lacing his fingers behind his head, the way he did after running. He growled and paced, then spun and stalked up to her. “Tell you what,” he said, “the decision will be yours. Once we get past the funeral, you can decide what we do.”

  “That’s not fair.” She had to push the words through gritted teeth and hot tears. “You are not putting this on me!”

  “But I thought you wanted…” The fight deflated in him. “Never mind. Can we just make it through Saturday? Then we’ll talk about this?”

  Sure, let’s just put off making a decision and just live in limbo and pain forever. She shrugged and turned to walk back to the house. “Fine.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Driving solo was the best feeling in the world! Like having your own money, only better. Like having a girlfriend, only he didn’t know much about that one yet. Alex put the window down even with a mist falling. The wind felt awesome.

  At the end of the afternoon he drove home, wishing he could stay out, go see some more friends, maybe drive everyone to the movies, but then he remembered the look on Trey’s face when he had enthusiastically suggested dinner to celebrate. Alex parked in the garage and sat in the car for a minute, letting it sink in. He was a driver now.

  When he walked inside, he found Trey and Rosette both waiting for him, sitting silently on different sofas in the living room. They were trying to look like they weren’t waiting for him, but they were.

  He couldn’t help it; he started laughing. “You two didn’t hold your breath the whole time, did you?”

  “Just wait until you have kids,” Rosette said, pointing a finger at him.

  That was a weird thought, and it stopped all three of them. Everything had heavy undertones these days. He guessed that’s what happened when people started dying all the time. “I’m going to go invite Summer to Kum Yon’s with us.”

  He went out the side door and spotted Summer sitting in the backyard in a lounge chair. It was positioned so you could look out to the ocean, but she was smoking and staring down instead.

  He walked over and sat in a chair facing her. “I got my license.”

  “Cool.” She looked up at him without expression.

  “We’re going out for dinner to celebrate. You should come.”

  “You want me to?” She said everything in deadpan, but somehow he could hear a faint tone in her voice, something like hope.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m trying to quit, if that’s what you’re going to say.” She held her hand up with the cigarette, looked at it, and dropped it on the ground. Evidently he made her feel guilty for smoking in front of him.

  “No, I was just wondering how you’re doing. I heard Trey making calls about…you know, the funeral.” It was three days away. And exactly two weeks after Ricky’s funeral.

  She dropped her gaze. It looked like she didn’t want to talk to him, so he started to get up.

  “How do you do it?” Summer asked suddenly, picking at a fray in the knee of her jeans instead of looking at him.

  He lowered himself down into the chair again. The mist was almost heavy enough to be a light rain, and they’d end up wet if they sat out in it much longer. Summer didn’t seem to notice at all, or care that her fingers looked cold and bluish.

  “Do what?’ he asked. “Deal with all this?”

  “Yeah. Didn’t you lose your mom when you were a baby, and then your dad? Then your brother. And Amanda.”

  He almost shrugged, but this wasn’t like talking to Trey, where they didn’t say what they really felt. It wasn’t like talking to Rosette where they did talk, but they didn’t really talk about the nitty gritty.

  Finally he said, “I want to know what you did. Why you went to prison.”

  She stared at him like he was an idiot. “Why?”

  “There are too many secrets around here.”

  “Around here.” She repeated that phrase, thinking about it instead of the bigger part of what he’d said. Maybe that was the bigger part for her—that she was a part of around here now.

  “They’re soft secrets,” he said, trying to explain it. That was so lame, but it’s what he’d come up with in the middle of the night. “It’s the kind people hold onto, thinking it won’t matter. But it does. Those kinds of secrets change everything.”

  She snorted loudly at that. Her stupid response stung him a bit at first. But Summer just sat there, continuing to think. Maybe she was taking him seriously. Maybe she’d finally tell him about her past.

  “Wow, that’s deep. That’s really deep for a kid.” She glanced over at him like she regretted the earlier zinger. “Why? Why do you want to know so bad?”

  He did shrug this time.

  “Why do you care about fixing everyone?” she pressed. “So what if all this falls apart?”

  “Don’t you want a family?” he asked. How could she not care? “You’re staying here now. This is Hope’s home. I think it does freakin’ matter if it falls apart.”

  She started to cry.

  Once again, he was being a dick.

  “I was pregnant once.”

  He shook his head, thinking he’d heard that wrong.

  “I finally beat Amanda at something.”

  Did Trey and Rosette know about the pregnancy? They must have, right? For some reason, it was the last thing he’d expected. “Where’s the baby?”

  He’d been pushing so hard to know about this, and now he felt kinda sick.

  “There wasn’t a baby.” She sat looking at the ground for a while. “I mean, I didn’t get an abortion or anything. Things were okay, and then they weren’t. I started bleeding and it got worse and worse…”

  He fought the urge to lean back, to lean away from what she was saying. Now he did feel like a kid, one that didn’t want to picture any of this stuff. “But Amanda was there for you?”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t tell anyone.”

  “Man…” That sucked.

  “I guess I stopped caring about stuff. I don’t know why, but I was angry and started doing stupid stuff. Hanging out with stupid people. This guy, Shane Miller, he thought it’d be cool if we stole some beer from that tiny mini-mart out on the highway, near the junction. His uncle worked there and so Shane had a key. It was supposed to be in and out. I was going to sit in the car and wait for them.”

  “But you didn’t?”

  “No, they were taking a long time. It was quiet outside. No dogs barking or cars coming. Just really dark and quiet. So I snuck up to the door and went in. Nothing looked out of place. But the owner was standing there with a gun pointed at Shane and Jimmy. I screamed.”

  The wind was picking up as evening came. Alex glanced back toward the house, worried he’d find Trey or Rosette watching them.

  He could see the scene just like he was watching a movie: the two scared teenage boys, the grisly old store owner, the screaming girl. He could see it all even though he wasn’t sure what the owner looked like for real.

  “I still don’t know if Shane tried to jump the guy then, or if I scared the old guy so he fired. Jimmy fell over and then Shane was yelling and trying to grab the gun away. I guess I ran over to them. I don’t remember. Shane said I did.”

  His stomach balled up even more. “Jimmy? Was he…”

  “No, but…Shane got the gun and was swinging it around. I think he just wanted to get out of there. I don’t think he meant to shoot the old guy.”

  She started picking at her jeans again. Just then he noticed the tears running down her face. Somehow he had a feeling the store owner died.

  “Shane told everyone I did it.” Summer looked at him for a second, so he tried to keep any judgment off his face. “I didn’t. I know I didn’t. I was right there, but I was just trying to help. I didn’t want anyone else getting h
urt. Later the police and the crime scene people said Shane’s fingerprints were on the gun, not mine. So they believed me.”

  He pulled in a breath, quietly, he hoped. “So that’s why you didn’t get that much time. Why you’re out now?”

  “Yeah.” She glanced at the house this time and started wiping her face. He straightened when he realized how far in he was leaning to hear her. It was still another minute before the door opened.

  “Ready to go to dinner?” Rosette asked, looking between their faces.

  “Sure,” Alex said, standing up. He had to wait a minute for Rosette to go back in so he could look at Summer. She met his eyes before turning to go into the trailer. Suddenly he was glad she’d moved in with them after Amanda died. He got the feeling she didn’t have friends who would really be there for her if she were somewhere else.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Trey unfolded his fortune and held it under the edge of the table to read it. Three months from this date good things are in store for you.

  That was an odd fortune. Three months from this date? He thought about the date and realized—with a stabbing pain right through him—that it’d be his wedding anniversary. Or would have been. He’d already chewed the cookie, and now it tasted bitter in his mouth. He flicked a glance at Rosette, saw that she was helping Candice read hers, and silently pushed his into his pocket.

  After that quick kiss in the driveway earlier, he had actually hoped Rosette was warming up to him. Then they’d fought. And he couldn’t have handled that any worse than he did.

  “What’d yours say, Dad?” Jake asked.

  “I got gypped!” He held up his hands, joking, but feeling like he wasn’t being honest. It left a bad feeling in his chest, but Trey knew how emotional he’d get if he read his fortune to them.

  Jake held out his tab of paper. “Want to read mine then?” Alex was watching Rosette and Candice, but Summer was giving Trey a strange look. He just smiled and took the paper from Jake.

  You will have many friends when you need them. Oh, good, back to the safe and generic. “That’s a good one, Jakey.”

  “My turn!” Candice waved her paper in the air and then held it close to her face to slowly read it out loud to everyone. Boats and water are in your future.

  “Now that’s very possible!” he said. “What about yours, Rosette?” She had yet to make eye contact with him since they’d sat down, and she’d been overly quiet.

  She just shook her head. They’d always shared their fortunes at the end of dinner. It was a fun tradition actually, and he felt crappy for ruining it tonight.

  Summer read hers: Your flamboyant personality will soon bring you a new hobby. The words put a big smile on her face, lighting up everything around her. Aside from her one mistake the other day, Summer was doing better than he’d expected.

  Their server boxed up the leftovers, and of course they had plenty to take home. That was one reason they liked eating Chinese, so no one had to cook the following night.

  He waited until later that evening to talk to Rosette. He laid Hope in her crib and went in to tell the kids goodnight. Rosette had tucked them in already, so he followed her into their bedroom and pulled the door shut behind him. It wasn’t early enough to go bed, except that they probably could fall asleep this early after all the up-and-down nights with Hope.

  She was standing by the crib, looking down at Hope. Just the light from the bathroom was shining into the room.

  “What did your fortune say?” he asked, quietly walking up beside her.

  She shook her head. “It was stupid.”

  Trey reached over to touch her arm, gently wrapping his hand around her forearm. It was something he’d always done, marveling at how small her arm felt. He lingered like that, feeling her warmth. Feeling her. It’d been so long since they’d really touched each other.

  “Trey, they’re not real, you know that, right? We like to read them, but it’s just some dumb saying printed in a cheap factory.”

  He used his free hand to reach inside his pants pocket. The paper was crumpled into a tight ball, but he pulled it out and handed it to her. “Read mine. Then maybe you’ll want to share yours.”

  She rolled her eyes and even heaved a sigh while flattening the paper. He watched her eyes move. She read quickly at first. Then her eyes slowed down and grew shiny. Of course, she’d think of their anniversary too. Another sigh. “So? A hundred other people got this same fortune this year.”

  “Please let me read yours.”

  “I left it there on the table.” She lifted one shoulder like it didn’t matter.

  He stared into her eyes, patiently waiting, his hand still around her arm. He wasn’t holding onto her; she could pull her arm free at any time. It was just a touch.

  She stared back at him for a minute before giving in. “It said… The one you are looking for is right in front of you.” The sheen in her eyes pooled to tears, almost spilling over. He reached up and nudged a tear from her lower lashes.

  Fight for her. That’s what his dad would have said. It’s what he needed to do. He stepped closer and took her in his arms, gently pulling her toward him. She leaned into him, but stiffly. A minute later her head softly touched his chest. His eyes closed, as if by themselves, and he leaned closer, running his lips over her hair the way he used to, pulling in her scent.

  Feeling her this close again made him desperately want her. He fought the urge to tangle his hands in her long, wavy hair and kiss her. If she relaxed into him or touched him with her hands, Trey knew he’d lose his control and pull her all the way against him. It wouldn’t even take that. In fact, he could push the issue. After ten years, he knew all the little things she loved and all the places she liked being touched. Just a thumb caressing under her ear, or nuzzle along her neck… He could seduce her, but the tiny logical part of his brain that was still functioning pulled on the reins. Why it would backfire, he wasn’t sure. But it would.

  “I don’t know what to think about us anymore,” she whispered.

  “I’m okay with that.” It had taken several years for them to fall so low. It might take a while to fight their way back up again too. “As long as there is an ‘us,’ we’re okay.”

  She shook against him like she needed to cry. He ran a hand up and down her back, pulling her in tighter, needing to feel her against him.

  Several minutes passed before she spoke. “I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

  He held his breath.

  “That road, Seven Devils Road. That was where Ricky proposed to Amanda.”

  That wasn’t what he’d expected to hear at all. He straightened and tried to see her face. Was that why Amanda was out there? The implications came crashing down—maybe she’d chosen that road to commit suicide. Trey couldn’t say anything.

  “I remembered that the day I went to pick up Summer,” she added. “Then when I came home, Leena was here and I forgot about it.” She rested her head against him again.

  Before, he’d concluded there wasn’t any logical reason for Amanda to be driving out that dark, isolated highway so late at night. Now he had a reason. It wasn’t logical though. It was all emotional, and it pointed to the one conclusion they didn’t want to believe. He nuzzled his face into Rosette’s hair. He could understand why…as he thought about losing Rosette, but Amanda had had her baby to think about.

  So much heartache. They couldn’t take any more. They couldn’t lose each other.

  “Want to go to bed?” he asked, then clarified, “I think we could both use some sleep.” He’d give anything to sleep in the bed tonight. She nodded against him, then pulled away to go change into a nightgown. Trey dropped his jeans and shirt on the floor just as Rosette came back to the bed. At her quick look—and then averted gaze—he suddenly thought of how it appeared, but that wasn’t what he was thinking.

  He pulled the covers back for both of them, and slipped into bed with her. His body reacted when he slid up against her back and wrapped his arm over
her waist, but he was so exhausted that he felt himself slipping off to sleep despite wanting her so much.

  ~ ~ ~

  Rosette awakened to soft morning light warming the room, but feeling Trey beside her was what really woke her up. It felt so strange to be curled up with him—strange, but so, so nice. His arm was possessively draped across her waist, and his breath was running down her neck. Had they possibly slept all night like this?

  She could see the green glow of 6:33 on the bedside clock, but Hope was still asleep. There was no way she would disturb either Trey or Hope and end this. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t fall back asleep; she didn’t want to move for a very long time.

  Right now, she didn’t want to think about all her fears and worries, even as they crept in around her. Her mind liked to weave all kinds of hurtful stories involving Leena and Trey, or even the girl that had been spying on them. Today she fought back, pushing the images and thoughts completely out of her head. Even if any of that were true, she was going to savor this moment.

  ~ ~ ~

  Trey started to wake up and realized Rosette was pressed against him. She was tracing his hand with her fingertip.

  “Morning,” he whispered, smiling before he could get his eyes open. Then he wondered if she’d been lying there thinking for a while. Sometimes, with a woman, that is not a good thing.

  “Is Alex doing okay?” she asked. “Has he talked to you?”

  He rubbed his face, relieved she’d been thinking about Alex and not them. “He acts like he is.” Sometimes he thought Alex and Rosette had an easier time talking about serious things and feelings, so maybe she had picked up on something he hadn’t. “Are you worried about him?”

  She scooted up so she was leaning against the headboard. “He’s been so helpful around the house— with the kids, with Summer even—it makes me wonder if I’m taking for granted that he’s okay.”