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  “Hey, we’re going to surprise Alex with a birthday cake and sing to him. Want to come over?” He realized he hadn’t talked with her much one on one. They hadn’t even discussed how long she’d stay, or what her plans were, unless she had talked to Rosette.

  Summer made a face that clearly asked why they were doing birthday cake at eight in the morning, but instead of voicing her complaints she shrugged. “I guess.”

  “Great…and we’re headed to the beach in a while. I thought you’d want to come.” He left her with a smile and had a moment of insight. Not insight into Summer, because she seemed like a brick wall to him, but he could see why Alex wanted to reach out to her. Alex was so like their father.

  Rosette had the little kids at the table. Candice had her hands over her mouth, smothering her giggles.

  “He’s in the bathroom,” Rosette whispered. She looked much more cheerful. It could be a show for the kids, but he knew how much she truly loved this stuff.

  By now, there was no way to surprise anyone on their birthday morning. The “surprise” tradition had begun a long time ago, with Alex’s first birthday after their dad died. They had wanted to make it extra special for a sad little boy, so they’d started his birthday first thing in the morning. Since then, the tradition carried over to each birthday, and to each child.

  Summer slogged in through the back door and hit the coffee.

  “I’ll light the candles. Get Alex!” Rosette flicked her fingers in a shooing motion.

  Trey walked halfway up the stairs and called, “Hey, Alex, breakfast is getting cold!” He hurried back to the kitchen and picked up the cake. The candles were lit. He moved slowly toward the stairs. Once Alex appeared, they excitedly broke into, “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!”

  They were rewarded with Alex’s smile, one that made him look like a little boy again, yet somehow also like a budding young man. He met at them at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Happy Birthday dear Alex, Happy birthday to you!”

  He pulled in a quick breath and suddenly stopped.

  There was a second of silence—he was making a wish—and then he vigorously blew out the candles. What did a sixteen-year-old kid wish for? A car? Alex had that. A girlfriend? A happy family?

  “Ready for some fun today?” Trey asked. If Alex wanted all of them to go to the beach and have a good time, they would.

  “Starting with cake!” Alex answered and hopped down the last step to follow Trey. Rosette had the special plates out on the table and began slicing and serving cake, starting with the birthday boy. Summer wrinkled her nose over a smiling mouth, looking at Alex. She didn’t go as far as to complain about eating cake for breakfast though.

  It took two bites for Jake and Candice to both get the green icing on their faces. Candice had a spot right on the tip of her nose. Jake pointed and laughed, not knowing he had a wide streak across his cheek. “Last time we had green frosting, on those cupcakes,” he said, “it made my poop green!’

  “Awww!” Several chairs slid back from the table.

  “Jake!” Rosette’s mouth quivered as she tried to hold a stern face. “I spent hours on this cake, and you’re all going to eat it!”

  Under the laughter, Trey heard Jake whisper, “And poop green.”

  Looking around, Trey noted the green frosting also dyed teeth, but that had to be temporary, he hoped. Luckily, the frosting just tasted like vanilla frosting, delicious over white cake with a big layer of raspberry in the middle.

  It was a miracle through and through, but everyone was happy. Suddenly Trey could feel the warm sunshine pouring in through the window and wondered if they’d somehow been given a special day, one where all the pain had to stay outside of a magical wall.

  “Did you wish for Uncle Ricky to come back?” Jake asked, looking down at his messy spoon but addressing Alex. He popped it in his mouth to suck the frosting off. “And Aunt Amanda?”

  Two different conversations halted as they all looked at Jake. He glanced up, completely unaware it was a loaded question. “Cause I did,” he added. There was hope in his eyes.

  “Jakey,” Trey said, reaching for something that wouldn’t shade the rest of the day. “They’re happy in heaven now.”

  “But their baby is here.”

  “If we could wish them back, we would.” Trey reached over to cover Jake’s hand. He glanced at Rosette and almost wished he hadn’t. Life had thrown too much weight on their shoulders, and he was scared shitless they would buckle and crash under it. “Why don’t we get ready to go to the beach?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Both Jake and Candice ran for the stairs, moving on from the emotional moment like children do. “I’m bringing my Spiderman bucket!”

  They’d left their plates on the table, but Trey didn’t feel like calling them back. Instead he stacked the dirty plates and set them in the sink under running water.

  “You’re coming today, aren’t you?” Alex asked Summer. Maybe Trey should have thought about letting Alex bring a friend or two, but Alex hadn’t asked, either.

  Summer glanced at them before answering. “Sure, I guess.”

  “I’m hitting the shower first,” Alex announced, leaving.

  Trey glanced at his watch. “Let’s try to leave in an hour.” Summer left to get ready, and just Trey and Rosette remained in the kitchen. He rinsed the plates and set them in the dishwasher while she put the cake away. They didn’t speak, and she didn’t look at him. Several things came to mind to say, but he decided not to risk upsetting the strange truce.

  Candice appeared in the doorway. “I’m reeeeeaaady!” She had on a frilly white dress with little red flowers on it, oversized sunglasses with plastic red rims, and her polka-dot flippers that he’d bought her for the pool at the Y.

  Rosette muffled a laugh into her elbow. “Honey, you know it’s too cold for that!”

  Candice spread her arms out above her head in a rainbow. “I am your sunshine.” Her smile dimmed as she realized she wasn’t getting away with this one. She pulled out the puppy eyes and looked at her dad.

  “Candice, maybe you could put jeans on under your dress?”

  She tilted her head for a second before whipping around and taking off. He couldn’t help himself from looking at Rosette and laughing about it. “She sure looked cute…and it’s supposed to be surprisingly warm today.” There had actually been a hundred-degree day in May just a few years back. It was some freak weather thing, but they occasionally did get some calm, warm days in the spring.

  She gave an amused shake of her head. “I’ll pack extra clothes for everyone.”

  Trey nodded and headed out to load the big SUV. They’d decided to drive the couple of miles south to Sunset Bay Park. There was just too much to carry down the long stairs near their house, and Sunset Bay was better and safer for the little kids. The restrooms were close to the beach for kid emergencies too.

  A few minutes later everyone was in and buckled, and they were on their way. Trey tried to catch Rosette’s eye, but she had her head turned to look out her window. Suddenly he did a double take, realizing they were both in white shirts. Remembering the white dress Candice had on before, he glanced in the rearview mirror. Candice was still in her white dress, although Rosette had gotten a red jacket on her. Jake had a white shirt under his jacket too. Trey felt goose bumps on his arms. A feeling settled over him, strong enough that he couldn’t find his tongue to say something about it. Even Alex had a blue and white striped, long-sleeved shirt, and Summer wore a mostly white sweater.

  Did it mean something? Did he suddenly believe in signs?

  “Told you it’d be perfect today.” Alex grinned at him in the mirror. Maybe no one else had noticed their near-matching clothing, so Trey decided to keep it to himself.

  “Looks that way,” Trey said, realizing the day was coming together. That could almost be a sign too, if he were into that sort of thing. The weather on the beach could change from a light, overcast s
ky to pouring down rain in a matter of minutes, but it looked like they were lucky today. The thin layer of clouds broke up to reveal a sparkling blue sky right as Trey drove into the parking lot. He lifted the big umbrella from the back and grabbed a bag of beach supplies. They’d talked about taking the stroller out on the sand but knew from experience that the wheels wouldn’t really turn. So Rosette had brought a baby carrier that slung over her shoulder.

  Alex and Summer were racing down the beach already. Trey laughed as he watched. He’d been about to tell the little kids to stay put for a minute and wait for them, but that wasn’t going to happen. Instead, he followed his family down the short expanse of green, mowed grass to the sand.

  Trey sat up the big umbrella and secured the edges with tie downs even though there wasn’t much wind in the cove. Rosette slathered sunblock on the kids. Of course, they complained. Trey used to think it was a bit much too, until they’d gotten sunburned one February from a few hours of beach sunshine. After a dark, wet winter, the sunshine and glare off the water was just too much.

  “Let’s fly our kites first!” Jake yelled, prancing and waving his hands in the air.

  Candice looked out toward the water, her thoughts written all over her face. Trey knew once they got wet, they’d be freezing, so he gladly distracted all of them with the kites. “Let’s see these things in action!” He’d just have to hope they could get them up into the wind so they’d fly.

  He had already looked through the instructions, so he could put both kites together quickly on the beach. They weren’t plain, one-dimensional kites. Candice had a double-decker butterfly with extra flaps. Jake had a bright red jet bomber. Both had small parts, sticks, and Velcro.

  Trey patiently assembled the two kites. Now he just needed some wind. Sunset Bay was a perfect cove, but the wind just wasn’t there today. It only came in bursts here and there, so they’d be lucky to keep a kite up in it. The beach by their house and even Bastendorff Beach were both curved and protected, which also made them nice beaches—except for kite flying.

  “Okay, it’s ready.” He offered the handle to Candice and walked the kite out, positioning her to catch any breeze that rustled up. Luckily a gust caught the kite and yanked it up high, expanding it into a large, bright, multicolored butterfly with streamers flying behind. Candice screamed gleefully as it whipped up and down in the unstable air.

  “Your turn, Jakey. Let’s see what this looks like up high.”

  They got the second kite up and whipping around. Even with the music of the incoming waves, they could hear the kites buzzing and flapping, almost like they had engines. Then the wind died. Both kites plummeted down.

  “Oh!” Rosette was ready to console them.

  “Again!” Jake yelled.

  Trey ran around with them, helping when the kites dive-bombed into the sand. He looked backward and found Rosette just a little ways behind him, Hope tucked into the baby carrier with a cute frilly sunbonnet covering her head. Rosette had a hand on the baby’s back while shielding her face with the other. She was grinning up into the sky, watching the kites. Her face lowered, and she looked right at him. For once, the smile remained.

  They were kids again too, laughing and playing on the beach, their lives and dreams before them. He took several steps to close the distance between them. “Remember when we daydreamed about starting our family?”

  “Oh, God, we didn’t have a clue!” She grabbed her hat before the wind got it.

  “You wanted a big family.” He looked back toward Candice and Jake. Alex was chasing Summer around them with something gross in his hand. All of them were squealing and prancing. He wouldn’t be surprised to see a big messy pile-up, complete with kite string entwining them all, but so far they were okay.

  “They say to be careful what you wish for…” Rosette’s soft voice sounded wistful, but it was hard to tell with so much noise around them. He couldn’t imagine her regretting their family, even if they were through. Today, with so many smiles, he felt things were right. Actually, things were more than right.

  He noticed Hope was wiggling around. “She’s awake? I’ll take her. I know you love to fly kites.”

  Her carefree grin was all the response he needed.

  Rosette flew the butterfly kite while everyone else got a sandcastle under construction, a huge one with four different additions and impressive moats encircling the outer towers.

  Trey played with Hope until Summer sat down and held her. She propped the baby on her knees and sang to her, Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. She knew several gospel songs, and hearing her sweet voice sing church songs threw him for a loop. He didn’t know her at all. But watching her, he could see how much she loved that little girl. Rosette came back to sit with them and listen.

  The kids played another hour before Trey’s stomach made him think about lunch. It’d be a late lunch, but that was okay. Everyone was having fun. “I’m going to head up to the fire pits,” he announced to Rosette. “I’ll get the fire started, and they can play a while longer.”

  “All right,” she replied. Rosette didn’t quite smile, but she looked content as she watched the kids.

  He gathered some random wood pieces lying around to add to what they’d brought to start a small fire. They always liked to get a bonfire burning to ward off the predictably chilly coastal air, but fires weren’t allowed right on the beach due to the State Park regulations here. He headed to an open fire pit and got a small flame going, enjoying the simple act. He nudged the wood, positioning it in the pit so the flames would take hold. It’d gotten later than he realized. The sun was already slanting toward the ocean. He could glimpse his kids, still running around on the beach along with a few other families, silhouetted against the calm bay and rocky outcroppings on both sides. Tall trees further shielded the bay, producing one of the calmest spots to swim and play on the Oregon coast. Not for the first time, he felt a huge sense of thankfulness for living so close to such natural beauty.

  A bald eagle soared over the bay and flew inland. They hadn’t looked for wildlife on this beach trip. Usually they walked out on the rocks to explore the tide pools full of colorful sea anemones, hermit crabs, starfish, and other sea life. On their last trip, they’d found a big, spiky purple sea urchin. He had picked it up for the kids and had felt the spikes moving.

  The fire began to burn brighter as Rosette brought everyone up from the beach. The image of his family, all wearing white—rather sandy and wrinkled as it was—about stopped his heart. He thought about the color white and everything it symbolized, and an odd fact struck him. Something from science class a long time ago: Sunlight is white light made up of all the colors. White is unity and goodness.

  Another thought came to mind: it takes work to keep anything white. If you never wash a white shirt, it doesn’t stay white. The thought lingered there, as if he should get more out of it, as his family approached.

  He looked up at Rosette as she drew near, but before he saw her face, Jake plowed into him, delivering a cold, wet hug. “Daaaad!”

  Alex had thought ahead and stopped by the car for their sturdy wagon, loaded with camping chairs, the cooler, and several bags.

  “Can I feed Hope?” Jake asked as they settled in around the fire pit. The fire popped and started to give off real heat. Trey pulled his chair close to start the hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Rosette supervised as Jake offered the little bottle to Hope. He wiggled close and propped his little boy face on his fist. He took this job very seriously.

  “Can Hope call you Mommy too?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the baby.

  That grabbed Candice’s attention. The kids had high-tech, super-selective hearing that could immediately pick up any kid-related conversation. It wasn’t just the little kids this time. Summer and Alex both stopped what they were doing too.

  Rosette glanced at Trey with a deer-in-the-headlights look. He tried to offer a small nod that the kids wouldn’t see. “Of course she can, honey, when she’s bigger.”<
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  “Cause her mommy is gone?” Jake asked.

  Candice leaned over Hope, who was sucking on her bottle for all she was worth and watching her two favorite kiddos. “Did you hear that Hope? Our mommy is your mommy too.”

  Trey peeked at Alex, hoping today was everything Alex had wished for. Life wasn’t perfect by any means, but today was.

  Trey poked the hotdogs and announced, “These are done. Who’s hungry?”

  You can’t get a much better meal than sizzling hotdogs, homemade hamburgers, and roasted marshmallows, all cooked over a campfire on the beach. At least that’s how Trey felt, laughing and talking with his family, not having a care in the world.

  “Hey, Daddy, do you think a squirrel lives in there?” Candice was peering up into the trees behind them, pointing at something. He turned and saw a large hole in the trunk of a fir tree, about forty feet up, where a branch had broken off. “It looks like a good squirrel home,” she added.

  “It sure does.” There were two small branches jutting out under the hole. Jake joined in with his ideas about an owl that lived there. The kids spent a good ten minutes discussing the home in the tree and what could live there. It was more than just a home, though. They were making stories about families with a mom and a dad and animal friends that would visit.

  Simultaneously, Trey felt good about giving his kids a secure home but also horrible that he’d been reckless enough to potentially lose it all. His marriage wasn’t just about him, or even just about him and Rosette. He looked down at his wedding ring, and a minute later heard the kids run off to the beach again. Alex and Summer were with the kids, so he felt okay letting them go. Hope had fallen asleep in her car seat, and Rosette was dozing on a blanket on the ground.